Understanding Their Behavior

If there is one thing parents and youth leaders have in common it is their attempt to understand teenagers. I would submit to you that one of the hardest things to do is attempt to understand a teenager. Their are no guarantees on how a teenager will respond. But there are several things you and I can do to better prepare ourselves. First and foremost it is important that our expectations don't exceed our student's level. By doing this we often set ourselves up for discouragement and then failure.

Students will often have incongruence between what they believe and how they live. This can cause parents and youth leaders alike great discouragement. In order to combat this we must try to understand that living an effective Christian life is difficult for all believers, especially our students. Their culture is very high-risk and we must provide opportunities to keep them focused on a Christ-like walk.

The following is a list of examples of assets or things that keep teens out of high-risk culture:

-Family love and support
-Positive family communication
-Caring relationships with other adults
-Regular involvement in religious, positive, and community service activities
-Reading at least 3 hours per week
-Having boundaries, rules, and consequences
-Telling the truth even when it's costly
-Standing up for what they believe
-Building cross-cultural relationships

By helping students build-in these areas, we will be better equipping them to avoid the potholes of a high risk culture and turning their focus more toward spiritual things. When students build up enough assets, studies show that they are less likely to engage in destructive behaviors that often prevent them from growing spiritually.

These areas take time and cannot be used as a one time check list. We must put forth the effort necessary to continually build these areas in our students life. I would encourage all of us to create time in our schedules for these assets to become a reality in all of our households. Yes we may have to get creative, yes every house will look a little different in their methodology, and yes it may be a little frustrating but the end result far outweighs any amount of frustration we may experience. I have said this before but I believe it bears repeating, you and I are called to raise up the next generation of believers in Jesus Christ, we were never called to raise the next generation of football players, softball players, chess champions or any other activity related superstar.

Understanding teenagers takes time and effort, I hope you will find it a worthwhile adventure.

Pastor Jeff

Bullying 101

Parents,
Bullying has become a hot topic around the news and on the internet lately so I wanted to give us a little information on bullying and help us know what to look for on BOTH sides the issue -a child that is BEING bullied and a child that IS a bully.

The following article was taken from Focus on the Family, it was posted October 5, 2012. You can find it here http://www.focusonthefamily.com/parenting/schooling/bullying/how-to-deal-with-bullying.aspx or read the pasted article below.

How to Deal With Bullying

How to know if your child is being bullied, and what to do if your child is the one bullying others.

from The Complete Guide to Baby & Child Care

Be aware of the following indicators that may indicate a child is being harassed:

• Injuries — unexplained bruises, cuts or scratches
• Torn, damaged or missing clothing or other belongings
• Anxiety, tearfulness, moodiness and resistance to going to school
• Ongoing physical symptoms — especially headaches, stomachaches or fatigue — that are invoked as a reason to stay home

If you are suspicious, ask questions that express your interest and concern: "How are things going at school? Is anything — or anyone — giving you a hard time?" Your child may be reluctant to reveal what has happened, and you may need to exercise some persistence to find out. If bullying has indeed occurred, make sure he understands that you take it very seriously, that you intend to take appropriate action and that keeping silent will only allow the bully to continue what he is doing. You will need to get as much information as possible: who, when, where and what happened. If there have been witnesses to the bullying, gather information from them as well.

Assuming that this has happened at school, make an appointment as soon as possible with the principal or administrator who is designated to handle this type of problem. Most likely this person will be ready and willing to put the heat on anyone who is involved in bullying, but he or she will need specifics. Tell the story but also provide information in writing, and be sure to take note of the response to your concern. You may want to arrange a meeting with the perpetrator and one or both of his parents in a school official's office. Your posture should be calm, but resolute: Look the bully in the eye and make it abundantly clear that even one further episode will bring disastrous consequences and that you expect his parents to cooperate.

If the harassment continues and the principal or parents of the perpetrator appear unwilling to take appropriate action, they should be put on notice that the problem may be taken to a higher level of school administration, an attorney, the police or all of the above. If the problem involves risks of extreme violence or gang activity, you will need to seek advice from law-enforcement personnel. In a worst-case scenario, a change of school (or home schooling) may be necessary to bring your child or adolescent through this situation in one piece. Do whatever it takes (within the bounds of the law) to protect your child's safety and self-respect.

What If Your Child Is Accused of Bullying?

Whatever you do, don't shrug it off (Hey, boys will be boys) or deny that there's a problem. Get the facts. You should get your child's side of the story, but also diligently seek input both from school officials and from whomever else was involved, including the victim(s) of the bullying. If the evidence (or your child's or teen's own admission) points to involvement in bullying, you will need to have a number of serious conversations:

You must make it clear not only that this behavior is unacceptable, but that if continued, it will lead to serious consequences imposed by you, the school and possibly the law.

You will need to contact the parents of the victim(s) involved to apologize and express your determination to prevent further episodes. As a gesture of integrity and courage, you might want to arrange a meeting with the other family at an appropriate location so that a formal apology can be made by your child, as well as an offer of restitution for any expenses (involving medical care or property damage) related to the incident(s).

If others have been involved in bullying — perpetrators often act in groups — you should take the lead in contacting their parents to encourage corrective and restorative action.

If your child or teen has been involved in multiple bullying incidents, you should arrange for him to undergo counseling, both for evaluation and prevention of further episodes. Other issues — depression, drug use, impulse control and even prior victimization (since some bullies have been bullied themselves) — may need to be addressed. This is a family issue, so be prepared to participate in some important discussions in the counselor's office yourself.

-Pastor Jeff 

See You at the Pole 2012: Awaken

See You at the Pole 2012: Awaken

For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father… I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts…And I pray that you… grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and…that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…

This theme passage of Paul’s prayer for his friends in Ephesus is one of the most famous prayers in the Bible. He desires so deeply for them to be able to grasp the extravagant dimensions of Christ’s love (msg)! He yearns for his friends to awaken in a fresh way to the endless possibilities of what only God can do! He is passionate in his cry for awakening in their inner beings like they’ve never experienced.

Pray for an unusual outpouring of the Spirit of God to awaken the hearts of students on campuses throughout your community… and the world!

See You at the Pole™, the global day of student prayer, began in 1990 as a grass roots movement with ten students praying at their school. More than two decades later, millions around the world pray on their campuses on the fourth Wednesday in September.

SYATP is simply a prayer rally where students meet at the school flagpole before school to lift up their friends, families, teachers, school, and nation to God. SYATP is a student-initiated, student-organized, and student-led event.

One of the amazing aspects of See You at the Pole™ is the spiritual harvest that continues on. After students rally together at their flagpole in September, Bible clubs, prayer groups, and evangelism takes place all year long. Many churches work together to sponsor before and after the Pole rallies for students.

Whether a single student standing alone, two or three huddled together in unity, or hundreds gathered in front of the school, See You at the Pole™ is about students praying for awakening on campuses all over the world.

The 2012 See You at the Pole™ theme is Awaken and the Scripture is Ephesians 3:14–21—“For this cause I bow my knees unto the Father… I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being so that Christ may dwell in your hearts…And I pray that you… grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and…that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God. Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine…’”

Wednesday,September26

 Wednesday September 26 @ 7:00 a.m.

Parent Discipleship Letter

Dear Parent, Sunday nights at Edgewood are really important dates in the youth ministry.  This weekend we started a 13 week Discipleship Course.  Discipleship centers around a small-group style of learning with the emphasis placed on the Individual students(s) faith.  Each group will have 6 to 10 students and will be chaperoned by an awesome adult leader. 

The course is composed of Bible study, recreation, and relationship-building activities. Each session builds on the previous session, so it is important for students to attend the entire course!  Activities begin Sunday evenings with a rally at 6pm. 

The cost is 0 dollars per person, which should be affordable for all.  We ask that you please make it a priority for your student(s) to have this information as we have noticed that a significant amount of students today don't know why they believe what they believe and often have less than biblical views of world matters.  Our goal is to accommodate all of our students so please make sure you have let us know if there is anyway we can better serve your student(s). You can be a vital part of the course by:

(1) Encouraging your student(s) to attend. 

(2) Make yourself available for discussion with your student(s) following our time together. 

(3) Praying for the course.

Thank you for all you do as a parent! I know you want the best for your student(s), and this course will be the best!  If you have any questions or if you want to help with any part, please call the office at 309-786-7913!

Jeff Miller

Student Pastor

Encouragement

One of the things that the Lord has really put on my heart recently is encouragement. So far, I have realized two things about encouragement: 1) Encouragement is powerful – with just a few words, we are able to affirm, refuel, and inspire others, and 2) encouragement is a gift.  I am blown away by the fact that we have the ability to use our mouths to build each other up.  We can be used by the Lord to communicate His love to His children!  Crazy!

When we encourage others, we are glorifying the Lord.  We are appreciating the unique ways that He has gifted His creation.  We are celebrating the fact that He uses sinners to do incredible things for His Kingdom.  Because encouragement is so important, we need to make sure that we are practicing it in our lives!  In order to make the most with this gift, we should keep a few things in mind when speaking to your student(s):

• Be specific.  Whether you have an incredible or not so incredible student they need you to be specific with them, don’t just say, “You’re doing a great job.”  Let them know WHY they are doing a great job.  Talk to them about the gifts you have seen them use.  Talk to them about the impact they are making in other students’ lives.
• Be authentic.  Don’t say anything you don’t mean!  Giving out insincere encouragement will quickly make your words useless.  Empty words are a waste of the incredible gift that the Lord has given us and can even be damaging to your students growth.
• Be thankful. A great way to encourage is to thank them.  Celebrate the awesome ways that the Lord has used them.  Make sure they know how much of a blessing they have been in your life.
• Be observant.  Capitalize on unique opportunities for encouragement.  Notice the moment when your student steps outside of their comfort zone on a serving trip.  Take the time to write letters of affirmation.  This also means that you are making sure you see those things that don’t often get praise, the actions that wont make them heroes, but matter in the long run of life.

Spend time in prayer about this.  Pray for the ability to look at others in the same way that Jesus looks at them.

I challenge you to spend some time thinking about the student in your life that needs encouragement.  Go out of your way this week to write them a letter or pull them aside for an intentional conversation.

-Pastor Jeff

Camp Follow-Up

Hi parents!

It is 1AM and I’m just getting back to my dorm to pack up and get ready to head home tomorrow morning. Your kids are doing the same thing right now after a great late-night service and group time — the finale of a truly great week!

I wanted to share some highlights with you before we make it back into town tomorrow afternoon. We’ve been at LIFT camp at Cedarville University (www.lift4life.com) all week with the theme #LEGIT: Be Real, Be Now, Be You. Our speaker was EJ Swanson (www.ejswanson.org). He has a powerful story he shared on the opening night — and continued each of the following evenings to challenge students to love God, share their own story and invite friends to church. The music was led by HeartSong, Cedarville Universities own worship team (www.cedarville.edu/heartsong). They have done an amazing job helping us be prepared to hear from the Lord and finding freedom in our worship.

I’ve encouraged your student to spend time with you on Friday night — before they jump into their world. I asked them to escape with you for the evening to talk about camp. I can’t wait for you to hear their stories and share their decisions with you. If it is at all possible, grab dinner and talk about camp together — here’s a few things you could talk about and a few questions to get you started:

·      What struck you about EJ’s messages?

·      Which Bible story EJ taught was your favorite?

·      Who was your counselor? What did you learn from him/her?

·      Did you do any outreach projects?

·      Did you make any spiritual decisions this week?

·      What song was the most meaningful to you? Why?

·      What did you do during the free time?

·      On a scale of 1 to 10, how good was the food at camp?

·      Did you miss me?

Just so you know your student probably got an extra sock or two in their suitcase, too, because it is camp and that stuff just happens, don’t worry about finding the original owner, just burn it.

Well, the bus will pull out soon and we’re just about on our way home. Camp is silent for now… but we’re trusting God the decisions made here will last for a lifetime. Thanks for sending your student to Summer Camp at LIFT— it is such a worthy investment — you’ll see it in their exhausted eyes when they get off the bus. See you soon!

-Pastor Jeff 

Parent Camp Information Letter

Your son/daughter will be attending Camp next week, July, 16-20^th!

The adults in charge for the week are Jeff and Alisha Miller, Derek and Melissa Glynn, Holly Hartley, Donna Glynn, Linda Flaker and Adam Glynn.

Transportation arrangements are as follows:

We will be meeting at 6 am in front of the Church on Monday, July 16.

 Please do not be late as it is important that we arrive at camp on time.

We will be returning on Friday July 20th at approximately 5 pm.

                                                                           

To write to your Student(s) during the week send your letters to: 

C/O LIFT Student Ministries

(Student Name @ Edgewood BC)

251 N. Main St.

Cedarville, OH 45314

If medication is being sent with your Student please provide clearly written instructions for dispensing along with the original medicine bottle (no medicine in baggie’s please).

If there is anything that you would like me to know about your Student before spending a week with him/her at camp please write me a note or feel free to call me at 309-786-7913.

Please be sure your Student is prepared for his/her best summer camp experience.

I am looking forward to spending a great week of camp with our students. I know we are going to have a memorable week.  As always be in prayer for the Spirit of the Lord to move freely among our group and for our students to make decisions of eternal significance.  

In the event of a family emergency please me at 972-345-2585.

In Him,

Pastor Jeff Miller

Edgewood BC 

A great blog post from my friend in ministry Doug Fields

I’m a people-watcher by nature anyway, but the environments where we waited in lines, sat closely to people, and were gathered in crowds basically became “observation on steroids.” If I boiled my observation into two categories, it would be:

1. spouses saying unkind things to one another.
2. parents verbally belittling their children.

I know this isn’t a new observation, but it was such a strong scent that I couldn’t escape.

Since it doesn’t take intelligence to be critical, let me suggest one relational principle that has helped me. I realize it’s easier said than done… but it’s as simple as:

DON’T SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK!

I realize this takes self-control and a degree of humility, but the results are amazing!

• When an emotion is triggered and you want to react with a verbal dagger…don’t.
• When your pride is enhanced and you want to say something that will be a zinger comeback and put the other person in their place…don’t.
• When your patience is exhausted and a strong reaction will make you feel better…don’t.

I have a quick wit, and a propensity for sarcasm, and that is an amazing combination of skills that creates some really strong statements… that nobody hears but me.

As a spouse and a parent I’ve had to learn that I don’t need to say everything that I think. When I do, it ends up:

1. wounding
2. triggering more reactions
3. demeaning those I love
4. enhancing the situation
5. creating negative memories

Words are powerful! Misguided words hurt… they hurt deeply.

Just because you think something doesn’t mean you have to say it. Remind yourself, not all words need to be spoken.

DON’T SAY EVERYTHING YOU THINK!

Practice it for a day and see how it goes.

Welcome

Welcome to the Parent Link for parents of students involved in The Edge Student Ministry at Edgewood Baptist Church! It is our prayer that you would connect with us here in order to stay up to date on the latest happenings within our student ministry.  We will provide you with weekly updates and feedback about the things your student is learning at The Edge as well as tips for you to stay active in your students faith journey.